The Starving Artist
By trade, I’m a lazy generalist.
I spent all my tomorrows yesterday.
They told me to conform or leave. I left.
Good taste forms the roots of my poverty.
I quit my job so I could concentrate on living.
It took a lot of hard work for me to get this low.
Movie title. — Down and Out in Cathedral Hill
My actions are rarely as heroic as my notions.
In his origination, the artist is completely alone.
Pain is just the poor world begging for change.
For me, being cool has the most do with honesty.
I achieve moderation by balancing great excesses.
My addictions are strong, but my denial is stronger.
If you do not quit, nothing save death can stop you.
If there were a Hall of Fame for beggars, I’d be in it.
You have to live through the story if you are to tell it.
My career has about as much direction as driftwood.
Besides drink, human warmth is the greatest comfort.
My passion is suffering from a serious case of entropy.
If it weren’t for my debt collectors, I’d have no followers.
The only thing worse than being unemployed is working.
I have the world on a string, but life’s got me by the balls.
With each failure, I grow increasingly immune to success.
I was a precocious lad. I had my midlife crisis at twenty-five.
I stopped setting goals because they were limiting my future.
Highly leveraged. — My royal existence keeps me in arrears.
Filet on a burger budget. — I live well for an indigent dreamer.
I not only weathered the storm, but I did it without an umbrella.
The system is fixed in that you don’t get to choose the choices.
The money ain’t worth the struggle, but the fame and fortune is.
I’ve been fired so many times I should have been a cannonball.
Tough crowd. — I tried to sell out, but I couldn’t find any buyers.
It’s difficult to endure life without a sense a humor and a little wit.
The songbird is not always the best at bringing home the worms.
Net worth. — The last time I measured my worth, it was negative.
If you think it’s lonely on top, try spending a little time at the nadir.
To gain street cred, I chose to live in a garage instead of a garret.
Living month-to-month is easy. Living hand-to-mouth takes talent.
A struggling artist is much more interesting than a successful one.
Living is the ultimate extravagance, and dying is paying your dues.
My banker thought I was outstanding. Or maybe that was my loans.
An undiversified portfolio. — I have my freedom, and that’s about it.
High fidelity. — Music is the one friend that has never deserted me.
I used to believe in progress until I took a long, hard look at my life.
Suffering is a special condition under which the arts tend to flourish.
I’m living proof that you can live a fabled life on a shoestring budget.
It’s easy playing the straight man when your partner’s not that funny.
I’m not opposed to therapy. At least, the kind my bartender gives me.
I’ve known many tramps in my day. Most of them were my girlfriends.
So far, the biggest odds I’ve had to overcome were my narrow talents.
State of mind. — I left behind the Midwest and emigrated to Bohemia.
Kind of clever. — I started resting on my laurels before I even had any.
I may not have a pot to piss in, but boy, do I have some great memories.
Puts and calls. — Options are for rich people. Poor folks can’t afford ’em.
I can live with the heartache and pain, as long as I can turn it into poetry.
To be an artist, you have to live the life of one. It’s not a part-time occupation.
I would be much more successful if my industry weren’t financed by laziness.
Street performance. — I never scrounge for my next meal, but I do sing for it.
Hobo humor. — His idea of low overhead was not having a roof over his head.
I’ve spent some time with contentment, but never long enough to get to know it.
I plan to die intestate because no one with any sense wants to inherit my estate.
If I’ve been indefatigable in the pursuit of anything, it’s been the evasion of work.
I’m careful never to get too busy, so I have enough time left over to procrastinate.
The irony. — He wanted me to shine his shoes, but he couldn’t even tie my laces.
Comeuppance. — I’m reaching that age where poverty ain’t so romantic anymore.
Nothing but bones. — I may have started with little, but I ended up with even less.
Bad drunk. — I had never been so fucked up. I was more wasted than my potential.
It makes me feel better when I think of my complacency as a low form of contentment.
When people ask me what I do, I respond with the truth and say, “Just about everything.”
My checkbook has never known balance, but it’s certainly experienced some good times.
Been a minute. — I haven’t been this happy since the last time I lowered my expectations.
By nature, I’m not acquisitive. In fact, the only thing I’m really good at acquiring is bad habits.
All those cars cruising through the crossroads while I’m standing there at the stop sign puzzled.
Look for me in the American Culture section somewhere in-between the beatniks and the hippies.
I invested all my money in becoming a free spirit, and all I’ve got to show for it is existential angst.
I try to acquire a little character with each day. I figure that’s more valuable than cash in the bank.
Thoreau straight-up with a twist. — I lead a life of explicit desperation. There’s nothing quiet about it.
Help wanted. — There are few employment opportunities out there for a joker with a philosophical bent.
Formative years. — At one point in time, the classics were just scribble on the torn notebooks of genius.
Job description. — Part of being aesthete is looking for the beauty in everything, even the so-called ugly.
Shout out to Milton Friedman. — No system will ever succeed in setting a man free. That is his responsibility.
Thank you, thank you very much. — The working classes have automation to thank for giving them more time off.
In art, as in life, one lives for those rare moments of fleeting perfection. All the rest is the torture of trying to get there.
Putting on the touch. — I always cheer my friends’ successes. I figure the higher up they go, the more I can sponge off them.
The great thing about being at the bottom is that you don’t have to worry about anyone actively seeking to take over your spot.
In this little hole of existence, I was master of my art and my time. I was the wealthiest man in the world.
On this side of the tracks, you’re ahead of the game if you know where your next meal is coming from. Privilege is a full belly.
Garbage man joke. — I had to write this rubbish with a lot of banging in the background — not the good kind of banging either.
One of the many benefits of self-direction is that you get to set the agenda. Of course, the big downside is that you have to do most of the work.
Method acting. — My technique is to undertake herculean tasks of gargantuan, elephantine proportions. That way, I can still get a lot done by doing a half-ass job.
I practice a type of reverse-capitalism. Instead of sacrificing present consumption for future gain, I enjoy today what might not be here tomorrow. The less I make, the more I spend. I turn debts into a positive and consume what I have yet to produce. It really is a beautiful system — a type of economic opportunism based upon immediate self-gratification. It isn’t good economics, but it’s a grand way to live.
As a tree must weather winter before it buds and brings forth leaves, so must an artist endure the fallow periods and fruitless hours in-between creations. However, these dry seasons do not call for a vacation or the abandonment of daily ritual or the neglect of one’s duty. On the contrary, they require a redoubling of devotion, diligence, and effort. This is what separates the dedicated master from the wishy-washy dilettante.
And on the flip side. — Any artist with uncommon sense devotes a good portion of time to leisure. From these hours, he extracts the raw material for his future productions. A healthy degree of idleness increases the potential for creativity. Excessive industry robs the inventive faculty. Work less. Create more. That slogan sure has a nice little ring to it, doesn’t it?
The last check bounced. — They say you should spend it all before you die. Well, I’m not taking any chances. I’m getting it done early.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
When I was young
and they asked me
what I wanted to be,
little did I know
that I wanted to be free.